I confess, I am a typical male. I see a problem and immediately start trying to fix it. This works well with loose doorknobs or leaky faucets, but the “just fix it” mentality is not always the proper response to a problem. Guys, you only need to ask your wives for validation of this truth. Likewise, the “just fix it” mentality does not work for the pastor of a church. For example, most pastors will readily acknowledge that one of the biggest problems in the American church is the problem of “undiscipled disciples.” He may want to preach the right sermon or implement the right program to fix the problem, but such a problem is not so easily fixed. To be sure, the pastor will never fix this problem on his own.
One of the most glaring deficiencies in discipling disciples centers on the discipleship of children. I recently read Timothy Paul Jones' book Family Ministry Field Guide, and it left me assured of my firm conviction that church leaders, including the pastor, ought never be the primary disciplers of children. That responsibility has be given to parents. So, what is the current status of the parent-child discipleship process? Listen to Jones’ evaluation, based on his extensive research:
“The overwhelming majority of Christian parents are not actively engaged in any sort of battle for their children’s souls. When it comes to the process of discipling their progeny, most Christian parents–especially fathers–have abandoned the field.”
“Abandoned the field?” Surely the overwhelming majority of Christian parents desire their children to trust in Jesus for salvation and follow Him throughout their life. The failure of parents, however, is in abdicating their children’s spiritual formation to the “professionals” at their church. This was never God’s intention. Hear God’s plan from Deuteronomy 6:6-7 as He gave His law to His people:
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
In other words, parents are to make the spiritual development of their children their number one priority, and this requires training them and modeling the Christian life before them.
Well, all this doesn’t sound so hard, right? Of course it is hard work! That’s why so few parents are doing it. Parents, we cannot afford to keep failing our children by making their happiness and success the primary focus of our parenting. The result of this kind of parenting, in the words of Timothy Jones, is “a culture of childhood royalty that treats children like princes and princesses instead of potential or actual brothers and sisters in Christ.” God gave us children not simply to be our precious sons and daughters (though I hope they are) but to be first and foremost potential brothers and sisters in Christ.
No church and no pastor can fix the problem of undiscipled children. They can only equip, encourage, and assist parents to accomplish the task of making disciples of their children. Parents, are you ready to fulfill your calling to teach the words and ways of God diligently to your children? May God bless you as you walk in obedience, and may your church equip you for the task.