When I was young I was extremely allergic to cats and birds (among other things). I avoided them at all cost. In fact, I had to receive a weekly allergy shot in order to keep the misery of an allergic reaction at bay. Staying away from things that triggered my allergies was sound wisdom from a medical point of view. Like me, I am quite certain that many other people suffer from similar allergies and are forced to stand clear of certain menacing agents of misery.
Now, I readily admit that I am not an immunologist, but I am confident in declaring, “Men, you are not allergic to church!” This is, of course, obvious, but entering the meeting place of an average Christian church might cause one to wonder if men are indeed allergic to church. Where have they all gone? No doubt many godly men are faithful to their local church, but most churches are anemic in the area of male attendance and service. Many years ago while leading a group of kids in a summer camp, one of the kids told me he believed women were simply holier than men. When I asked him how he knew this, his reply was, “It’s mostly women who sing in the choir.” I am not sure that is a sign of “holiness,” but the absence of men is evident in most other aspects of church life as well.
I get it. The image of “manliness” that has been built up in our culture tells guys that real men don’t sing, don’t show vulnerability, and don’t need 2,000+ year old guys telling them how to live their life. Well, men, culture has lied to you! Real men need other men in the church. This point was well made by Darrin Patrick in his new book, The Dude’s Guide to Manhood (which I highly recommend). He wrote:
I’ve made it pretty clear that true men don’t live in isolation from others. They live with others. They are mentored by other men and mentor other men. Every guy needs someone encouraging him to push forward and be all that God has called him to be, and also someone he is pouring himself into. Guys need communities of friends who are willing to challenge them and fight with them for their character and practical holiness. And the church is supposed to be the backbone of that community–the place where the good news of Jesus is proclaimed in such a way that it permeates men’s friendships. (168-169)
Well, that’s right guys. Real men go to church because that’s where real men build real friendships with other real men so they can be real with each other and live as real followers of Jesus Christ. Maybe church is boring for too many guys because they sporadically attend and never get involved. My challenge to all of you men who are “allergic to church” is to commit to better attendance, better friendships, and better service. You might find in the process that your enjoyment of church is better also.